The Art of Allowing
How surrender leads to bliss…
Have you ever thought about what it means to allow life to happen instead of controlling, forcing or manipulating it? This idea also follows along the same track as “surrendering”.
I was in a self-development seminar many years ago and one of the processes was learning how to surrender, let go, allow. I struggled with it and had never considered what doing those things meant.
“Surrender leads to bliss” was what they taught us that day. I have leaned into that term many times over the years since that day. It means to let life happen and take our hands off of trying to control things that are beyond our control.
“We are at our most powerful the moment we no longer need to be powerful.”
― Eric Micha’el Leventhal
How does that show up in actual life? So many times we come from fear when managing ourselves, our feelings and our lives in general. We pretend we have control over the direction our lives go. In some ways we do, and in many ways we do not.
Letting go means trusting that life has your back no matter what you believe as far as a higher power. This thought allows a sense of comfort, safety and a belief that everything happens for a reason.
A good friend of mine and I were having a discussion about this the other day. I told him I have no fear of death because I know that living here on earth is the hard part. Once we die, that’s when it becomes easy and we understand everything that has eluded us up to this point. This belief gives me a sense of acceptance and courage as I move through my life.
I trust that everything is happening perfectly. Especially the difficulties. So many times when they happen, it feels as if something has gone wrong because we cannot see the whole picture and a sense of fear shows up. Having faith and trust in the middle of challenging times provides a sense of peace and acceptance.
Allowing life to happen and knowing it’s all going to be OK is empowering. It’s all OK even though it may not feel like it right now. Everything always works itself out, eventually.
Sometimes I ask myself, “Is this going to matter in 5 years? Will I even remember it? What about 5 days?”
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
― Ann Landers
Our brains don’t agree. They believe they are the ones who have it all figured out. They literally create fearful thoughts so we don’t die. They were designed that way! And that’s exactly as it’s meant to be but we must be onto our own thoughts in order to evolve and grow.
The reptile or primitive brain is what has kept us alive as a human species since the cave-dwelling days. It wants us to seek pleasure, be efficient and avoid pain. That is how we survive. If you think about how we made it this far through the ages from being chased by a saber-tooth tiger until now, it makes perfect sense.
We also have a prefrontal cortex (PFC) part of our brain that is the grown-up in the room. It is involved in functions such as concentration, organization, judgment, reasoning, decision-making, creativity, emotional regulation, social–relational abilities, and abstract thinking—in other words, all the functions we rely on for healthy relationships with ourselves and others.
The PFC gives us the ability to see when the reptile brain is making a big deal out of a small situation. It’s always trying to set off the alarm bells to keep us in a state of alert awareness so we literally don’t die!
The reason it’s so important to be “the watcher” of our brain is it’s not always giving us helpful signals. When we are aware of how we think, we can relax and realize not everything needs a reaction. Sometimes we just need to take a breath and allow life to happen. What a relief!
The next time you feel stuck; like you have no answer to your situation and don’t know what to do, try just letting it go. Take a deep breath and just breathe it out. When we are in this place of surrender is sometimes when the best ideas come. It’s when we have an opening for something new.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
