I have avoided discomfort my whole life. I had no idea how I was affecting my own growth because I have always been unwilling to feel uncomfortable. Somehow I believed feeling uncomfortable meant something had gone wrong.
To me, feeling comfortable meant living in a “feathered nest” where all my furnishings were comfortable. I had pretty things to look at, my schedule allowed for plenty of free time, I read inspiring books, I created an easy life for myself because I thought THAT was the goal. Not that those things are bad. They just had no way to help me become the person I always wanted to be.
I have always been a few (or more) pounds overweight. I walk several times a week and go to the gym but was unwilling to feel the discomfort of not eating sugar and flour. It was an inner game I played. “Walk and workout and you can have sugar.” Tit for tat. Do this and you can do that. No discomfort. Also no success. I kept myself stuck in a cycle of losing a few pounds and then “rewarding” myself by eating what I was craving and regaining it.
It means feeling sore because we’ve pushed hard at the gym. It means feeling urges for sugar and flour when we’ve sworn to not eat them and staying committed no matter what. It means sitting with an urge to “buffer” away our feelings and feel the emotions we would rather escape with ice cream, shopping, Netflix or drinking alcohol.
It means being willing to feel all the negative feelings because doing so will give us the reward we seek. Risking looking like a fool, fear of being judged or rejected. Yikes!
Those are some pretty uncomfortable feelings…but they are just feelings. No one ever died from a feeling. It just feels like we might when we’re in the middle of it.
I have learned how to sit with discomfort and process it all the way through. This one concept has changed everything for me.
When I learned how to sit with my discomfort, I began doing things I had always been too scared to do. Like the time I had committed to teach a class for the first time ever and had no idea what I was doing.
I agonized for days. I allowed the feelings. I had no choice to not teach the class so I told myself I was going to figure it out. I allowed myself to be a beginner, (so uncomfortable!), went through the steps the best I could and taught the class. Major breakthrough!
THIS is how we move forward in any area we feel stuck in.
Feeling uncomfortable allows us to reach our goals.
THIS is where growth and change happens!~ Nancy McCartney
Having the courage to feel uncomfortable on purpose means we are in control of what we choose to create in our lives instead of being affected by outside circumstances and feeling victimized by them.
That is how it is done. Be willing to fail when attempting something difficult and not make it mean anything negative about yourself. (Does a baby learning to walk let falling down keep her from getting back up and trying again? She just keeps trying until she gets it.)
Are you struggling with an issue you can’t seem to get a handle on? I would love to help you. I most-likely have personal experience with it! Please message me and we can set up a free 30-minute Discovery Chat.